The speeding of the parking world

I've come to the conclusion that parking in the cross-hatched no park zone must be the speeding driver in the parking world. Just like speeding, everyone does it and most get away with it. I mean, this person didn't even try to remotely get anywhere even close to parking between the designated lines. It's like he/she parked, walked out of the car, looked at how they parked and just said, "Awww, f*ck it." I mean, that's what I say to myself when I drive at least 5 over the speed limit.

Thanks The Pear Lady for the awesome picture! Keep up the good work everyone. Let's conquer the parking world, one driver at a time!

From the bumper sticker files

I've decided to add bumper sticker pictures to the blog, because there are a lot of freaking funny ones out there, and I for one am always looking for a good giggle or two. Maybe you chortle, snort, or just plain laugh. Either way, enjoy. 

And yes, I have a sick mind. I can't help it. I practically live in the gutter. It's awfully filthy in there. Thanks, Kayta! Love the picture!

**You too can submit a photo! Email them to aholeparking (at) gmail (dot) com. Pictures must be original in content and taken by you. Please make sure to send any blog links, website, etc if you want credit for the photo. You can be anonymous too. Also, by submitting a photo, you agree to let me post it. Got it? Good.**

Quad-Parker

What we have here folks is the elusive quad-parker. Rarely seen in the wild, the quad-parker takes up 4 valuable parking spaces. The quad-parker is considered critically endangered in the wild due to lynch mobs slashing tires and keying doors.

Thanks Julie! Hopefully you won't run into a quad-parker anytime soon.

Parallel Schmarallel

This is so fabulously awesome that I have few words to say about it. Obviously this driver didn't pass parallel parking 101 in driver's training class. Or maybe a heard of wildebeests were charging down the city streets and the driver had to quickly get out of the way or get obliterated.

You're right. It had to be wildebeests. Nothing else in my mind would make someone park like this.

(The photo was taken by yours truly.)

(And I guess I had more than a few words to say. It happens.)

Just because I can

Obviously this driver wanted to create their own parking space. Either that or the driver is color blind and the only color they can't see is yellow. All other colors, fine, yellow, no. I wish I was color blind to a$$hole drivers.

Thanks, Andrea! Awesome photo!

Inventing your own parking spot

A classic case of someone who feels entitled to invent their own parking space. In my world those cross hatched yellow lines mean "Don't park here douche". Then again, it could be the voices in my head talking to me. They do that a lot. (Thanks Jen for the photo! Great a$$hole parking!)

**You too can submit a photo! Email them to aholeparking (at) gmail (dot) com. Pictures must be original in content and taken by you. Please make sure to send any blog links, website, etc if you want credit for the photo. You can be anonymous too. Also, by submitting a photo, you agree to let me post it. Got it? Good.**

Interruption

Today, we interrupt your daily viewing of a$$hole parking to bring you this:

C'mon, you know you want to laugh. (Thanks, Janet!)

We'll return to your daily posting tomorrow.

One of these things is not like the other

All you Sesame Street fans out there (or parents who have been forced to watch the show over and over) sing with me:

One of these things is not like the other.
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
by the time I finish my song?

Thanks, Vicki! This totally made my day.

Picture Perfect

Sunday, on my way back home from a work trip, my coworker and I stopped off at one of those service stations on the Ohio toll roads. You know, one of those fancy rest areas with restaurants inside. I unfortunately wasn't feeling so hot (exhaustion + dehydration + start of a cold) and was booking it to the bathroom and missed my chance of taking a picture of the ultimate a$$hole parking job. I didn't want to let any of you down, so I drew a picture to reenact this fabulous moment in parking history. It's kind of like an interpretive dance, only not really.

A student driver car, straddling the lines of two parking spaces. It was classic. I really wanted to wait and see when the driver came out so that I could interview him for the blog.

Me: "Tell me, are you the teacher or the student?"
Driver: "I'm the teacher."
Me: "So you like to teach your students to park like a$$holes?"
Driver: "Errr, um....huh....."

And this is where it starts people. A$$hole parkers breeding more a$$hole parkers. It's an epidemic people, with no cure in site.

**No comments on my crappy drawing. Unless of course they are oozing with awesome sarcasm. Then, please, comment on.**

Speechless

I have to admit, I completely snorted diet coke up my nose when I saw this park job. Nothing says douchecanoe like creating your own parking place, where obviously there wasn't one to begin with. I personally enjoy the fact that the pick up truck is at an angle. The driver couldn't even bother with backing up straight. "It's all good yo, I just gonna back myself up here in this little opening and up on the grass. No one will notice." Thanks for the photo, Erin. My nose however is still bitter over the whole snorting pop issue.

**To submit photos: Please email original photos, taken by you, to aholeparking (at) gmail (dot) com. Please make sure to send me all appropriate links if you want credit. You can be anonymous too. By submitting a photo, you agree to let me publish it.**

Diagonal is the new straight

(Sorry for the delay in posting. I have a man cold, only I'm  a woman, so that tells you how bad I feel.)

Jennifer sent in this awesome photo. Why park between the lines, when you can park diagonal to the lines? It's obviously better and makes a statement - a statement saying, "I park like a dingleberry".

Thanks Jen!

(You guys are killing me with the awesome photos. Keep it up.)

Who needs to park between the lines?!

I have to admit, these photos made me chortle. Yes, I said chortle. Theses delightful photos were sent to us by Anonymous.

Anonymous states, "Different cars, same a-hole parking job, same spot. Coincidence?!?"

The only thing I can think of is that the parking space is possessed by a demon that takes over your body when you try to park in the spot and makes you parking like a complete asshole. Clearly, this can be the only explanation for being such a butt muncher.

Thanks Anon!

Line Hugger

Sarah sent in this fabulous picture and stated "Here's what annoys me the most about this photo: A- the parking spaces in this lot are ridiculously small, so you'd better not eff it up. B- this car is parked next to a median, so this person's only excuse for this crappy parking is douge-baggery. It may not seem so bad from the picture, but trust me, the empty space next to this schmuck is not big enough for my compact car."

What a douchecanoe park job! Love it. People should be automatically wedgied when they park this way. 

**Remember, you too can submit asshole parking pictures. Please email them in jpeg format to aholeparking (at) gmail (dot) com. Pictures must be an original and taken by you (no pictures of park jobs that are floating around the internet) . Also, please make sure to send appropriate links (blogs, websites) if you want credit for your photo. Feel free to stay anonymous if you prefer.** 

No personal space for you!

Oh, a personal favorite of mine. I call this "Too Close for Comfort" parking. The delightful Alyssa submitted this photo, stating that she had to climb into the hatch of her car (the Toyota - parked well within her parking space). I always end up bumping my head when I have to enter my van through the back, or on the passenger side. Good one, Alyssa!

Welcome, welcome!

We've all had that moment. You're driving around a parking structure (or a parking lot), late to work, searching around for a parking spot and you pass by someone who felt entitled to park like an a$$hole. They take up two parking spaces (or more), park at an odd angle, etc. Let's do a little parking shaming here. It's kind of like Dog Shaming, only for people who park like butt heads!

Take this lovely parker - why park between the yellow lines of one parking space, when you can park over the yellow lines and take up 2 parking spaces! 

Feel free to submit a photo of someone who deserves a little parking shaming. Please email a picture of a bad park job to aholeparking (at) gmail (dot) com. By submitting a photo you agree for me to put your photo up on this website. The photo also must be an original picture taken by you. Please make sure to send me appropriate links if you want credit for your photo. You can be anonymous too.  Please note that I will blur out any license plates. (Even better, take a picture of you being an a$$hole parker!) (And parker is too a word!)